kissing in public: spontaneity or provocation?

 By Anis Albasha

 When I was in Italy, I’ve noticed many times that some couples, while making out in public, they swiftly scan the area around them to see if there’s someone looking. And in case they catch someone staring at them, they obviously become more excited and they start kissing feverishly. I know that showing affection in public is a common behavior in Western societies. But what I didn’t know is that it is not always a spontaneous act. When I asked my Italian friends about this phenomenon, they told me that public kissing was not always about being truly in love. Lately, it has become an obvious way of bragging. According to my friends, many lovers who publically make out, especially young ones, have a message they want to convey; “we are not lonely. We are in love.” And by doing this, they think they can make other people feel jealous and pathetic!

We know that in the Islamic culture, it’s not acceptable to show affection in public. So, how do Muslims who live in western societies deal with such displays? Actually, reactions vary from one person to another. While most Muslims completely ignore this kind of behavior, some try to leave the place as quickly as possible. Others try to distract their children using some nervous moves which I personally consider foolish and it makes things worse. For example, some parents may use their hands to cover their children’s eyes. This is an overreaction that leaves those innocent children scared and unaware of the whole situation. Another example of these overreactions is saying a religious phrase when seeing two persons kissing. I remember the time I was on a train in Copenhagen. A man and a woman started to make out in front of all the passengers. Then, I heard one of the passengers shouting and repeating – in Arabic- this phrase “there is no power and no strength save in Allah”! This religious phrase is so common and is used when a Muslim sees horrible things or faces big troubles! It gets funnier because the more the ‘shocked’ passenger repeated this phrase, the more noise those lovers made while kissing!

Those Muslims who live in western societies should know that there are huge differences between the oriental and the occidental cultures. Denying this fact would not make it easier for them to be integrated into European societies or to be part of them. We have to accept and acknowledge these differences. However, we should know that accepting a difference does not necessarily mean practicing it! It is stated clearly in the Holy Quran that “To you be your way, and to me mine.” 109:6. In other words, Europeans are free to behave according to their culture and to live their lives the way they choose. And we don’t have to imitate them in order to be integrated. Additionally, it is so ridiculous for anyone to exert a single effort trying to change these habits and/or to impose different ones. As long as Muslims live in Western societies, they should not feel provoked by such cultural differences and they also needn’t choose to confront. Everyone has the right to maintain their own beliefs and their own identity. Hence, the rule is simple; we respect others’ choices and we want our choices to be respected in return.  

On the other hand, I witnessed some incidents where some lovers only kiss just to irritate Muslims and to make them feel uncomfortable. For example, I remember one time when I was in the park, there was a boy and a girl sitting close to me. They were both busy playing with their smart phones.  Suddenly, when a veiled woman along with her husband and two kids walked in, the boy swooped down on the girl and started kissing her. He was kissing the girl and watching the Muslim family at the same time! The funny thing was when the girl was trying to push him away, asking him to knock it off because she was tired and not in the mood! He kept doing it anyway.

In the final analysis, we have to keep in mind that differences do exist. Each society has its own culture, traditions and habits which have accumulated and developed through hundreds of years. Besides, we have to remember that coexistence is a ‘game that needs two players.’ So, next time you want to make out in public, make sure you do it spontaneously and not to irritate anybody.

Abandoned Jewish village

By Anis Albasha

It was a beautiful sunny day like most of the days in Sana’a, the capital city of Yemen. We were heading off to ‘Bait Baus Village’  which is a historical Jewish village located in the southern suburb of Sana’a.  When we arrived in the area, we got lost. We didn’t know which road to take to reach our destination. So, we had to stop the car and ask a taxi driver that happened to pass by. We innocently asked him :” do you know where the Jewish village is?” for some reason, the man got mad and gave us an angry look! Then he wrathfully said:” it’s not a Jewish village! It’s name is Bait Baus village.”

Frankly speaking, we couldn’t understand his reaction and we didn’t expect that any of the locals would reject the Jewish label. That’s because Jews were part of the Yemeni history and the existence of that village is proof of that part. Ironically, some historical references suggest that Baus is a Jewish man who built the village!

Anyway, the taxi driver showed us the way and we finally got there. And even though the village is not so much visited, we saw some local visitors with their children. The moment we entered the village, we felt that we crossed a door to the past. The place is unbelievably ancient but unfortunately abandoned . The houses are in a very dilapidated condition and are prone to collapse at any moment.  However, we wandered around and took so many pictures. 

At the end of our visit, I realized that no matter how some people show no spirit of tolerance for diversity, those remnant houses will always be a witness to peaceful coexistence. 

Muslims….Enough hypocrisy!

By Rasha Almaqaleh

  A short time ago, one of my Italian friends sent me a voice message saying : “ I’m following a Facebook page called ‘Islam Italia’. And in one of their posts they mentioned a verse from the Quran and they said it orders Muslims not to be friends with non-Muslims. They also said that Muslims should not love non-Muslims because this means getting away from religion." Then, my friend laughed while saying:" I don’t think it’s true because you are my friend! But could you please explain to me why they said so. I find it very strange!"

  Now honestly speaking, I don’t know how to answer my friend’s question!

Should I say:" I also find it so strange and I need someone to explain this to me,too?"

How can I explain to her, and also to myself, that there are Islamic clerics who dare to assert that befriending non-Muslims is wrong and prohibited by Quran?!

And with the promotion of such a horrible notion, would I be able to tell my friend, and other people, that Islam is the religion of peace and mercy?!

How can I tell her that Muslims are allowed by Quran to marry Jewish and Christian women but they aren’t allowed by those Muslim clerics to befriend them? Wouldn’t that be stark nonsense?!

  Could anyone explain to me and to my friend, how a Muslim could marry a non-Muslim woman and start a family with her without any trace of cordiality and intimacy? And how should he feel about his non-Muslim in-laws? Let’s not forget that they would be his children’s family! Such an intercultural mess!

With the mere argument of no befriending and no loving others, how can the followers of Islam claim that their message is 'universal'?! Regrettably, there are tens of 'fatwas' in many Islamic books, websites, TV programs, etc. that ask Muslims not to hold any affection towards non-Muslims and never be friends with them. Is it a rational request in the first place? Because as far as I’m concerned, affection is not a controllable thing and you cannot simply press a button to stop loving someone! What kind of religion that orders its followers not to love the non-followers? Wouldn’t that lead us to confrontation and violence instead of coexistence?

  According to those contradictory clerics, Muslims could only be friends with non-Muslims on one condition; they must try hard and take advantage of every possible opportunity to persuade their non-Muslim friends to convert to Islam. Obviously, those clerics don’t care if their teaching contrasts entirely with the Quranic approaches.  Here are some examples of Quran verses:

“Yet it may be, if they believe not in this statement, that thou (Muhammad) wilt   torment thy soul with grief over their footsteps.” 18:6 

 “You cannot guide whom you love. But it is God who guides whom He wills; and He is fully aware of those who receive the guidance.” 28:56

 “Their guidance is not upon you, but Allah guides whomever He decides.” 2:272

 While browsing one of the Islamic websites, I came across some stupid fatwa; A Muslim girl asked the following question: "I have a Christian friend whom I love so much.  We care about each other and we get along very well. I tried many times to speak to her about Islam hoping that she will convert but she was adamant in her position. One day, she got mad at me and told me that we weren’t supposed to speak about religions and that she loved me as a human despite anything else. What should I do? Can I continue being friends with her or not?" The answer was unbelievable! They told her that she should end her friendship with the Christian girl and she must stop seeing her! Well, I’m persuaded that this fatwa is completely inconsistent with the Quran that I read and believe;  “O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).” 49:13

So where does this sense of superiority that some Islamic scholars have come from? Obviously, many of those preachers express their personal interpretation not only of Quran but of life in general! When I read Quran I come to realize that no one should have any sense of superiority, not even Muslims. And this makes perfect sense as it is the only road to coexistence.In my opinion, such Fatwas are somehow responsible for brainwashing many young Muslims. And it’s time to admit that promoting those repugnant notions paves the way to violence and extremism.

As a human being first and a Muslim girl second, I am not responsible for those hideous interpretations which are nothing but cultural rubbish. Still, I find myself compelled to sweep them away! And I’m tired of doing so. Therefore, the only answer I have to my friend's question is my sincere love and friendship which I hope they will last forever.