In Germany, Keep it quiet,clean and formal!

By Rasha Almaqaleh

One of the best things about being overseas is that you get an astounding chance to examine by yourself the credibility of some stereotypes. Before moving to Germany, we were a bit worried because we’ve heard a lot about the German people and unfortunately most of it was not comforting; we’ve heard that Germans are strict, hardhearted, overly nationalistic, etc. And for people like us, who come from a country which is at war and where there is no way back and not much of a choice, those stereotypes were a bit scary. However, after living in Germany for over a year, some of those stereotypes seem really funny and in some cases are far from reality. So, what are Germans like?  Here are  some of the observations we made about the German culture and lifestyle, SO FAR!

Yes, many Germans speak English !

A while ago, I was talking in the phone with my brother who lives in Yemen. He asked me about the German language and how I mange every day. I told him that German is indeed a difficult language but luckily most Germans speak English and that’s how I manage most of the time.  He was taken aback and he answered in a clearly shocked voice: “WHAT?! Germans speak English? They don’t mind?”  He was in total disbelief and the reason behind his reaction was the famous stereotype in my country about Germans: ‘Germans are nationalistic. Therefore, they only speak their native language with foreigners who don’t know German. And even if Germans know English, they won’t speak it!’

Well, you may wonder now : “what’s the point of learning a foreign language if you intend not to use it, ever?”As a matter of fact, it’s not only that this stereotype is absolutely wrong but it’s quite the opposite; many Germans speak English well and they don’t mind communicating in English with someone who cannot speak German.
Generally, Germans start studying English in primary school and they may also learn other foreign languages in high school such as French or Latin. 

Moreover, many Germans don’t mind giving their children foreign names: French, Swedish, Danish, Turkish,  Arabic, etc! There’s a German girl in my son’s group in kindergarten whose name is Jamila, which is an Arabic name. When we asked her mother about it, she said that they came across the name somewhere and they liked it and they knew it was Arabic!

Always use your indoor voice, indoors and outdoors!

Germans are generally very self-conscious especially when they are outdoors. They don’t speak loudly and they are always keen to use indoor voice. You can rarely hear them shout or yell. I don’t remember hearing a German calling someone’s name loudly in the street! While this happens A LOT in Yemen and also in Italy where there’s always someone calling someone else’s name out loud, in Germany this is not the case, because Germans are not vocal or loud speakers. So, if you are going to live in Germany, modify your volume and start training yourself to use your indoor voice, indoors and outdoors.

‘möchten’ is always safer than ‘wollen’!

Germans are very polite people. They use courteous language even when talking to family and friends. They ALWAYS use polite words such as ‘Bitte’ , ‘Dankeschön’, ‘Darf  Ich…?’,  ‘Einen schönen Tag noch’, and  most importantly ‘möchten’ which is sometimes translated into ‘would like’. If you want to say that you want to go home, you better say ‘ ich möchte nach House gehen’. it is more polite than saying ‘ich will nach House gehen’, which indicates being sort of demanding, commanding and authoritative . That’s why it’s sometimes OK for younger children to use the word ‘wollen’; you know how children can be very demanding! So, Adults are not expected to express themselves casually not even with a spouse or a close friend.  In Germany, it’s always about being polite and impolite. 

‘Hallo’ in stores and ‘Guten Tag’ in public offices!

 If you get on the bus, the bus driver usually will greet you with ‘hallo’. If you enter any shop, the shop assistants will smile at you and say “Hallo”! If you go to the cash register in the supermarket to pay for your purchases, the cashier will always greet you with a smile and a hallo. But if you go to the town hall (Rathaus) or to the migration office then you are going to hear a formal greeting which is : ‘Guten Tag’. So, never use informal greetings in public offices!

Passionate recyclers!

 Not only are Germans able to sort out waste properly but also they are passionate about it. They are very aware of the importance of recycling and their commitment and enthusiasm are what makes it work. In Italy for example, there is a recycling system too but Italians, especially in Rome, are very reluctant. Most of them don't sort their garbage and they are not involved at all in the recycling process. They justify their behavior by claiming that recycling in Italy is just another Mafia's business. 

But in Germany, recycling is a big deal and the whole complicated recycling process could be baffling for newcomers; there are different colorful bins and each color is for a specific type of waste. There's also a waste collecting schedule for each area. At the beginning of our stay, it was really overwhelming to sort out waste properly and to keep track of the timing. Fortunately, this gets better with time! 

‘Coffee and cake’ NOT at the coffee table!

 It is common here in Germany to get invited in the afternoon, especially in the weekend, for ‘Kaffee und kuchen’ around 4 O’clock. It’s a social tradition where people get together to catch up over a cup of coffee and some cake. What I really didn’t expect was to drink coffee and eat a piece of cake at the dining table! At the beginning, it sounded way too formal and a bit weird to sit at the dining table in the afternoon just to have a cup of coffee and a piece of cake. For me, I prefer to have coffee and cake at the coffee table in the living room, where it’s more comfortable and causal. But then with time I realized that this was the German way. They don’t mean to be formal or make you feel less comfortable. It’s just how they do it.

In Germany, there is something for everything!

I remember one time we were hanging out with a German family at their place and when my son got hungry,  the lady boiled an egg for him. To my surprise, she placed the egg on a container which was similar to the egg's size and shape. It was then when i saw an egg cup for the first time in my life! Germans don’t eat boiled eggs off regular plates. Instead, they place them on particular cups designed only for holding eggs. 

  I also found out later that there was another piece used to serve boiled eggs and it’s called ‘egg warmer’! It is used to cover the boiled egg in order to keep it warm, in case you are not going to eat it immediately! Or as a German teacher justified: “ On Sunday morning for example when you boil eggs for the kids but they don’t wake up early for breakfast!” 

Special equipment for boiling eggs we found in the store

Another funny fact about Germans and boiled eggs is that they never use a metal spoon when eating boiled eggs. Instead, they use a plastic spoon! "The reason behind that is  the egg doesn't taste delicious whit a metal spoon!" a German friend informed me! 

So, here in Germany, you have to get used to the fact that there is always something for everything. Never go spontaneous. It doesn’t work well here.  For example, if you want to go for a picnic, please make sure to take a ‘picnic blanket’. Don’t just take any random blanket because you would end up being ‘secretly’ laughed at by Germans!

          

  
'Nur Bares ist Wahres' (Cash is king!)

During our stay in Sweden, we noticed that credit cards are widely used and cash money almost disappeared in the day- to-day transactions. And each time we made a purchase with cash, we would feel a bit embarrassed and old-fashioned. That’s why when we first moved to Germany, we expected to encounter the same fashionable payment system, especially since Germany is well-known as a wealthy 'first-world' country that has made great achievements in science and technology and its economy is one of the greatest economies of the world. But to our surprise, we found out that Germans prefer to pay in cash and the use of cards is very limited! When we ask Germans about it, they say that they aren’t fond of cards and that cash is their number-one choice.  They rationalize that this way they can keep track of  their money and control how much they spend.  For that reason, ‘cash is king’ in Germany!  

How well do you know….?

This was the title of the second unit of Level- A1 book of the first German class in school. The topic was about knowing people abroad (im Ausland) and ‘how well you know them’. To my surprise, there were only three choices to answer that question:  not good ( nicht gut), good (gut), and  very good (sehr gut).The word ‘friends’ was not included in the choices, therefore I assumed that the phrase  ‘know someone very well’ probably means being friends with them. But when I asked a couple of Germans about it, they said “No, not necessarily!’ If a German says that they know someone very well, it doesn’t actually mean that they’re friends or close to them. Apparently, this is a unique German skill with which you can get to know people very well without being intimate or close to them. Honestly speaking, I really don’t know how that works! What I understand is that when one knows someone else very well, that means they have to be close to each other in a way or another. Otherwise, how on earth would they get to know each other VERY WELL? 

Another thing is a quiz I did on one of the ‘Learn-German’ websites. There was a number of questions in English and they were translated into German. oddly, whenever there was the word ‘friend’ in the English text, it was translated in German into ‘Bekannte’, which literally means ‘acquaintance’ and not a friend !

 Even though Germans are nice ,well-mannered, and welcoming, they are very careful, and sensitive, when it comes to the word ‘friend’. They prefer to keep distance and it takes them a long time, longer than usual, to call someone a friend!

  Overall, Germans are a bit, or a lot, reserved and self-disciplined. However, they are not as pictured sometimes in media and movies; 'rough insensitive creatures.' On the contrary, they are nice, polite, supportive and cooperative. They are not ‘overly patriotic as some people in my country think.  As a matter of fact, they are ‘culturally curious’ and they want to know more about people who come from overseas. They love to attend intercultural events and they don’t mind learning foreign languages. And I totally understand their passion because I personally find knowing different cultures and observing various lifestyles fascinating!